NemesusDE / @Nemesus_DE => NemesusDE / @NemesusDE

NemesusEN / @Nemesus_EN => NemesusEN / @NemesusEN

Statistically, you’ve already reached the peak of your private contacts – from now on, they will only decline.

By 2050, 10 billion people will live on this planet, two-thirds in cities. Yet cities make people more anonymous, not more connected. And in ever faster-changing work environments, there’s little time left for real bonds.

Many of your friends and relatives will no longer be around, long-term business contacts will remain the exception – and much of what you can do today will be obsolete by 2050 – only then you won’t be 25 anymore.

Already today, carelessly commissioned AI content is flooding the net, making you feel even lonelier – even if right now you may be too distracted to notice its full extent. Don’t worry: sooner or later, distractions will fade, and loneliness will hit you harder and sooner than you’d like.

If you want to take action, my video essay “Architects of Loneliness” will support you. The link is below.

For the current landing page, it took me three attempts: “Nemesus’ Way” as the detailed foundation, “Nemesus’ Wormhole” as the radical short form. Both are documented under Content+. The Hybrid version now serves as the active homepage.

This website will soon receive an upgrade. All content and the URL will remain — only the structure, technology, and design will change.

My realized and planned changes are based on the insights of the past 40 days — sparked by the first community gathering, which also brought back memories of earlier times.

N.

For me, YouTube is a platform for inner growth. AI instances are my sparring partners.

My LongTimes are goal-oriented video essays with unusual perspectives. My Shorts are gripping, self-contained short stories. This site provides all voice-over texts and notes (DE/EN), as well as information about upcoming gatherings, including an application form. – Use it to connect with people who matter.

What I Do
I create websites, YouTube videos in German/English when needed, and community gatherings. My LongTimes are video essays with unusual perspectives and systemic approaches to solutions. My Shorts are self-contained short stories – suspenseful, unexpected, with a twist. This website contains all voice-over texts and notes (DE/EN), as well as information about upcoming gatherings, including an application form.

How I Do It
I see hidden potential and ways to unlock it, and I connect analytics with passion. That is why I view YouTube as a platform for inner growth and AI instances as personal sparring partners. Anyone who wants to learn how to entertain others needs dedication. Many are unwilling to pay that price – which is why they are avoided by those who can entertain better. The feeling of wasted time often arises when people simply have nothing to say to each other.

Why the Circle Closes
Unfamiliar perspectives – like those you will also find in my essays – broaden your horizon and increase your complexity. My short stories provide balance: after heavy content comes lighter entertainment – so that you can return refreshed to complex material. My website provides all voice-over texts – so you can easily share them with AI instances and discuss them afterwards. This will support you in reaching your own goals, because clearer words, sharpened through interaction with AI, will help you convey them to others. Finally, the gatherings connect you with people you do not yet know – people for whom resonance and complexity matter. Resonance creates appeal, complexity creates understanding. For a more fulfilling time with people, you need both.

I am Nemesus. I think, dream, feel – and build my own path: with YouTube and AI. The videos I miss, I create myself. I first reflect on my thoughts with AI, so I can later share them clearly and understandably.

From August 1 to 3, 2025, the first community gathering took place in Berlin: three days full of conversations, ideas, and people who want to make a difference. It was only the beginning. More gatherings will follow – sometime, somewhere, maybe in your city.

Until then, you’ll find my latest videos here and, under Content+, all voice-overs as well as earlier versions of the site – in German and English. Copy them, analyze them with the AI you trust – and maybe it will help both of you move forward.

For weeks I searched for exits, but all of them were sealed. The facility contained futuristic machines, an autonomous power supply, and instructions for operation.

At its core, it appears to be some kind of time portal.

The instructions said that using the portal today at exactly 2:00 p.m. would be my only way out. For safety reasons, I was supposed to carry something close to my body that the strangers called ‘energy cubes’.

I have the cubes with me – and it’s just before 2:00 p.m. I guess I’ll soon find out if the strangers were right. If I survive this, I’ll have a few questions. For example: Who has subscribed to the channel by now?

In science, people like to distinguish between loneliness and isolation. Loneliness is treated as a feeling, isolation as external circumstances that can be measured in numbers. Ten social contacts in a month? Congratulations, you’re officially not isolated. How you actually feel? Irrelevant. I already find this separation questionable in academia – and in videos that claim to offer real help, it completely misses the point. Because very often it’s the circumstances you’re in that create your feelings. Anyone who treats loneliness in isolation is basically offering techniques to manage symptoms. Of course, you can take a pill for a toothache. But you don’t expect that to cure the cavity.

In this video, I’ll break down the eight tips most often shared on YouTube and X when it comes to loneliness – and I’ll show you why they’re so popular precisely because they don’t work. After that, I’ll show you a path that can actually lead out of loneliness. And by the end of this video, you’ll find out what else this channel can do for you – and what makes it different from all the others. Shall we begin?

First, the eight “tips”:
Go out and meet people
Sign up for volunteer work or group activities
Use social media or dating apps
Practice mindfulness
Call old friends or family
Get yourself a pet
Just be open and friendly
Seek professional help

Loneliness is a global phenomenon – many already call it a pandemic. The health risks include high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, weakened immunity, depression, cognitive decline, and even increased mortality. Psychologist Bruce Alexander demonstrated that isolation is strongly correlated with addiction. The causes of isolation are largely systemic and lead to the experience of loneliness. The tips, however, create the impression that people who feel lonely are almost entirely to blame themselves. Of course, that’s completely wrong. So let’s dive into the details:

Go out and meet people
Physicist and network specialist Albert-László Barabási showed that people usually move within a very small radius – often just a few, maybe a couple of dozen kilometers. They walk the same routes, at the same times, and therefore run into the same people – sometimes literally the very same ones. Frequent flyers may cover greater distances, but even they tend to travel the same routes, with the same airlines. They land at the same airports at the same times, to check into the same hotels – usually from the same chain. The reward? Loyalty points.

Sign up for volunteer work or group activities
And then what? People sign up for all sorts of reasons: conviction, boredom, or just because a friend dragged them along. Just because someone joins a choir doesn’t mean they want to sing – maybe they just want to make new contacts. But to those who are there to actually sing, that comes across as insincere. And yes – they will notice.

Use social media or dating apps
Back to Barabási: social media mirrors the physical world. You end up on the same platforms, with the same gatekeepers, connecting with people you’ve already known for years – only digitally. For the platforms, that’s financially lucrative; for you, it’s just a circle of endless repetition.

On dating apps, women tend to focus on the top ten to twenty percent of men. Those men, in turn, often seek only short-term sexual encounters with less attractive women – while many of those women are hoping for a long-term relationship. Men outside the top tier get almost no matches, regardless of what they’re looking for. In the end, both sides are frustrated – much like in the physical world.

Psychologists Russell Clark and Elaine Hatfield tested this at Florida State University in the late 1970s. They sent out two equally attractive confederates: a woman who approached men, and a man who approached women. The questions were identical – the answers were not.

“Would you go out with me?” – about 50% yes from both genders. “Would you come to my apartment?” – roughly 69% of men said yes, only 6% of women. “Would you go to bed with me?” – about 75% of men, 0% of women. – Twenty years after the pill. Ten years after Woodstock. You get the idea.

Practice mindfulness
Sit cross-legged, light some incense if you like. In the best case, you’ll learn to reflect more on your feelings. In the worst case, you’ll bury yourself in occult books and spend even less time actually dealing with yourself. But your isolation won’t shrink because of either. Why would it? The circumstances outside you stay the same. At best, you’ll just notice them more clearly – but that alone won’t be enough. To solve complex problems, you need analysis, not esotericism.

Call old friends or family
If they could help, you wouldn’t have clicked on this video. And besides: as you grow older, the number of friends and relatives decreases – through estrangement, moving away, or simply because people die. Even if you’re still young, things like lack of education, religious orientation, or poverty within families create isolation. And if that isolation isn’t broken from the outside, it often gets passed on to the next generation. There’s a reason people talk about “uneducated families.” And while we’re at it: police have very good reasons to first look at the family environment when investigating suspected abuse. So the advice to call your family is, at best, annoyingly naive – and at worst, dangerous.

Get yourself a pet
Better get a Tamagotchi app instead. Seriously: Ashby’s Law says you can only solve problems if you’re at least as complex as the problem itself. If the complexity exceeds your own, you can’t solve it. The law also says that individuals can only truly understand you if they are at least equally complex. Your dog won’t understand you or talk to you about existential crises. But it will force you into a new routine at least three times a day – within your small 12-kilometer radius. And that only makes it harder for you to experience anything new.

Just be open and friendly
To whom, exactly? And even if someone crosses your path, that doesn’t mean they’ll treat you the same way. Too young, too old, too different, too similar, too attractive, too unattractive – the reasons for rejection are endless. You can try to be better. If you’re really good, you can not only have a positive influence on the person in front of you – but perhaps also cause less harm than many others who don’t even notice. But guaranteed immunity from exclusion does not exist.

Seek professional help
If you take these tips seriously, you almost certainly need it.

What I find absurd is that videos about loneliness systematically ignore entire cultures. In Japan, South Korea, and China, approaching strangers is considered rude. In North Korea, you hardly meet strangers at all. In Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Egypt, or Malaysia, strict gender segregation means your opportunities for communication are cut in half from the outset.

And what if you already know who you want to spend your time with – but that person has other ideas? Or if you’re considered persona non grata in your environment? Maybe you love the “wrong” gender or someone already seen as “taken.” Depending on where you live, that can mean social exclusion, corporal punishment, loss of freedom, or even loss of life.

Even my videos are part of the problem. They exist in German and English. Anyone who speaks another language is left out. And even if that weren’t the case, there would still be internet censorship in some countries, local apps more popular than YouTube – or simply no access to the internet at all.

So let’s focus on the people I can actually reach through YouTube: Statistics suggest the male audience tends to prefer analytical content, while the female audience largely prefers practical content. If I put less emphasis on analysis in my videos, they would be less helpful. If I keep the analysis, the videos stay more useful – but the female audience would watch them far less.

Beyond this dilemma, there remains a tragic connection between Ashby’s Law and the lesser-known Parkinson’s Law of Triviality. The latter states that people tend to immerse themselves in trivial matters in order to avoid admitting their own incompetence when faced with complex issues. This behavior works in two directions: outwardly, it produces a facade of competence – creating the impression of knowing more than you really do. Inwardly, it sparks a burst of triviality that fuels self-deception: making you feel smarter than you actually are.

Loneliness is one of countless complex problems. Unlike complicated problems, which you can understand by breaking them down into parts, complex problems can only be simplified by recognizing overarching patterns.

What we need is a complex, analytically grounded solution. But the more complex the subject, the less willing most of us are to put in the effort it requires. YouTube creators depend on success. Their view counts rise when they offer you simple solutions – even if those solutions don’t actually lead anywhere. And in many cases, you’ll gladly accept them – and, once the discussion gets difficult, switch to another topic instead.

That also explains why so many videos look exactly the same. With each one, both you and the creator who made it feel less and less concerned. Propaganda works in much the same way – except it is organized and driven by a clear purpose. Most YouTube creators, on the other hand, may not even realize what they’re doing. But even if they did, most of them obviously can’t see any other way to succeed. And the more successful ones have employees – which means they also carry the responsibility of paying them.

You might be wondering if I’m painting everything too dark. Let me tell you a little story: A few months ago, I was in Bangkok, the capital of Thailand. The city never sleeps; Thai people are known for their curiosity and openness. Cultural barriers to contact, like those common in Korea, Japan, or China, are far less present there. The city’s vitality is everywhere on the streets of this megacity. My apartment complex, however, felt completely dead: empty pools, deserted common areas, hallways under video surveillance, elevators with access control. Playgrounds without children, rooftop gardens lush with vegetation but without visitors – only now and then a bird at night, crying desperately for company. From my apartment I never saw the bird, only a sea of air conditioners, in addition to the ones built into my own building. I counted about 500 units, two for each apartment. They pumped the heat out of the luxury apartments into an already overheated city – chilled loneliness in buildings without bulletin boards. Communication among residents was clearly not desired.

My rebellious plan was to buy a nice notebook and pen, sneak them past the cameras and the building staff, and place them discreetly on one of the tables in the “common areas without community.” “Meeting at the clubhouse, every Friday, 6 p.m.? – Send me an email if it worked.”

Unfortunately, my plan was foiled. My habit of writing late at night became my undoing. A cold from the air conditioning knocked me out, and I never managed to go out and get the notebook and pen. As if the building’s immune system had identified me as a foreign body and successfully eliminated me. Maybe I’ll outsmart the house next time.

I don’t blame the architects. I was in Bangkok when the earthquake hit – the building shook, but it didn’t collapse. In doing so, they saved my life. True, they sold anonymity as a luxury to a clientele that confuses safety with loneliness. But that is not necessarily unethical. Architects are bound to their clients, and clients in turn to the workers who built the place. A more open design might have meant bankruptcy – and thus endangered the livelihoods of many involved.

So let’s note: what people want often differs significantly from what they actually need. Why?
The human brain runs on two basic drives: energy conservation and adaptation. Outside of famine conditions, those are pretty poor conditions for thinking. That’s exactly why we click on videos that promise simple solutions – even when it’s obvious they won’t help. And it’s why so many of us go for prestige, even when we can feel that this choice makes us lonelier. On top of that, our value patterns are first shaped in the limbic system – one of the parts of the brain that works unconsciously. In contrast, our language center sits in the cortex, the area of conscious awareness.

When unconscious value patterns slowly emerge into conscious awareness after years and we learn to articulate them, that still doesn’t guarantee their quality. When similarly shaped individuals grow up close to each other, their shared patterns can eventually make their way into a subculture, a social milieu, or even an entire culture – whether those patterns are useful or not.

Culture helps us think less – it supports our brain in saving energy, as long as it is the culture we ourselves come from. Only when we voluntarily step into foreign cultures, or at least explore other subcultures, traditions, or milieus within the same cultural sphere, are we able to question our own value patterns. In nature, pattern shifts never arise from harmony, but always from contradiction.

The question is: what went wrong?
In theory, the internet should connect us worldwide – yet right now we seem more isolated than ever. In theory, global air travel has been established for half a century. And yet most of us lack the time and money to regularly leap into other cultures that could challenge our learned patterns.

And in theory, you should feel relieved at this point. Because if you’ve followed my video so far, you’ve understood that much of what isolates you is rooted in structures established long before you were born. And it is precisely that isolation that creates the feeling of loneliness within you.

You don’t feel relieved? Good. Because the realization that you’re not responsible also takes away any possibility of intervening. Advice that doesn’t work is useless – whether you follow it or not. The feeling of helplessness rises – the feeling of failure drops.

With the list of blind actionism, it’s the other way around: all the tips seem practical and doable. And if they don’t take you where you want to go – then it’s your fault, not the list’s. Your sense of helplessness drops – your sense of failure rises.

Perhaps there was always something comforting in the idea that everyone is the smith of their own fortune. The dream may have felt far away, but it never seemed out of reach.

I am Nemesus. A jester with blue feathers. And I promised you a solution that actually works. The first step: stop feeling lonely – by starting to be alone! If that surprises you, or if you already sense the brilliance behind it, this would be an excellent moment to hit the bell and subscribe.

In case you’re still a bit lost: feeling lonely and being alone are not the same. Loneliness is passive – you wait for others to rescue you. Being alone is active – you step back strategically from questionable contacts in order to develop the skills that will lead you out of isolation.

I promised you useful surprises – not that you’re necessarily going to like them. The point is: you’ll need time for a deep dive into your feelings. And if things go well, that will put you on the first rung of the ladder – from loneliness to being alone. Less helplessness, with growing success. And by the way, this isn’t just to your advantage. Even if the people you step back from don’t realize it at first – in the end, you’re saving them time as well.

Back to the list of simplistic fixes. Let’s look at it through the lens of philosopher Derrida. He wouldn’t ask what is written in the text, but rather what is missing – and why.

You’ve probably noticed that the list of narrow-mindedness never mentions that you can feel lonely even among your closest friends. There are countless reasons for that. Even difficulties expressing your own feelings or thoughts can be enough to make you feel lonely. And even if you can express yourself fairly well, that doesn’t mean the ability or willingness to understand you is always there. Cognitive distortions. Fears. Opposing mindsets. Toxic group dynamics. Chronic lack of time. Or simply tomorrow’s appointments – all of these can derail any conversation, no matter which side the dysfunction comes from. With physical limitations, it doesn’t stop at missed conversations – often even the shared experience of activities becomes impossible.

As for me: it doesn’t even take people to make me feel lonely. Factors beyond human contact are enough. Technology could already help us much more – if only we used it more intelligently. Or science – tangled up in dogma. Worse still: solid scientific findings that have been known for decades – and yet never applied. Or the carelessness with which issues are treated that can impact everyone’s lives extremely negatively and permanently. Whether this shows up in dubious laws, in socially accepted behaviors, or in people’s own environments – most of us are in worse company than we think.

But let’s shift the focus back to you – and less to human environments. Whatever you want to achieve in life: as long as your body doesn’t hold you back, skills are the key. And they can be learned. We’ve spent a long time talking about where not to invest your energy. Now let’s ask: where could your time, your energy, and your dedication truly bear fruit? For that, I don’t even need to know you personally.

You might be searching for the partner of your life. Or you may dream of an academic career. Some want to travel the world, others prefer to climb the corporate ladder. Still others see themselves as artists – or simply enjoy living day by day. And then there are those who hold a vision for the world – and want to make it real. Whatever it is, the key competencies you’ll need remain the same.

On every path you take, you’ll need dedication and resilience. The courage to take new directions. The ability to decide – because every choice you make closes off others. Linguistic competence and empathy – whether you’re trying to win someone’s heart or stand your ground with your boss, you’ll need psychological know-how.

Also, in realizing your visions you’ll have to build connections and bring people to your side. But for that to happen, they first have to find you – and later also understand you.

This is where one of YouTube’s underrated advantages comes in. Without platforms like this, you’d have to repeat your thoughts over and over – in forums, in conversations, even with friends. And often it would just waste your time, because they might not want to hear it, or they’d simply forget. In a video, by contrast, you say what you have to say only once. Whoever wants to listen can choose when – and how often – they listen. You save time and spare others the sense of obligation.

Physicist Richard Feynman once said: “If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t really understand it yourself.” And he was right. From this it follows that you must first truly understand your visions, principles, and evaluative patterns yourself before you can convey them to others. On every path, you’ll need a compass to check whether you’re still on course. The ability to learn and to think dynamically is indispensable. A solid general education will always be an advantage, because it increases your complexity – and thus your ability to connect with people.

No matter which path you choose, immersing yourself in other cultures will be essential. It makes you more flexible. A daydreamer or world traveler must be able to respond instantly to their surroundings in every situation. An aspiring artist, however, is much more dependent on their environment. While the traveler can move on, the artist must stay – and needs time to create. Part of their task, therefore, is to find an environment that stimulates them and values their creativity.

By the way: scientists, too, depend on their environment. They have to work closely with their teams and express themselves with absolute clarity to the outside world. After all, it would be a shame if research funding were not awarded, or if innovations were not even recognized. Every change in process patterns is teamwork. Finding an environment that supports it is like a precision landing. And being allowed to stay there permanently is an even greater challenge.

Whether you spend long stretches of time in one place or feel at ease wherever you go – in the end, both are journeys. And for all of them, one thing holds true: only the ability to look inward – even into your own past, back into your childhood – makes the journey outward and the path to your goals a true pleasure. Before that, it is often just an escape from yourself. The more advanced you become, the more joy you’ll find in the process. Adults are usually more focused on the goal while children are primarily interested in the experience. And in that lies the secret of their growth. Paradoxically, part of the task is to reclaim what you already had as a child: the joy of being.

It’s time to bring this journey to a close – the one you began when you clicked on my video. Your success in life depends on how clearly you can define your goals – and how capable you are of creating resonance in others. The sad truth is: the more isolated you are, the fewer opportunities you usually get to practice exactly what you need the most. At least, that’s how it was. Sure, uploading videos to YouTube has been possible since 2005. But only with the worldwide AI boom in 2023 did it become possible to get feedback on your ideas and voice-overs before publishing them – and before gaining your first follower. Thanks to AI.

Even if you have a small circle of friends with whom you can talk about almost anything – your friends won’t have time for every single script revision. In fact, it would be unhealthy if they devoted themselves to that permanently. At some point, it would simply annoy them. And even if you treat them with care, there’s no guarantee they’ll stay with you forever. People change sometimes. So do you. But if you’re serious – if you challenge AI with all your complexity – the two of you will become good mentors for each other. And before you know it, your circle of people will grow.

Does all of this feel familiar to you? The reason is simple: I did nothing different when creating the voice-over you’re listening to right now. So feel free to see me as what I see myself to be – my own guinea pig.

On this channel, you’ll find more essays designed to give you impulses for becoming more entertaining yourself – and shorts, for those moments when you simply want to be entertained and recover. The essays are more demanding and therefore appear less frequently, while the shorts are uploaded at much shorter intervals. My shorts are experiments: I try things out, play with genres, and follow whatever sparks my curiosity. My essays, on the other hand, grow out of what I encounter on my own journey – topics that strike me emotionally, catch my eye, or capture my attention in some particular way. In the case of loneliness, it was the combination of my trip to Bangkok and the flood of YouTube videos on the subject, all of which seemed far too shallow to me.

In that sense, I see my channels less as video galleries and more as a philosophy—a school of thought. Big goals make us bigger—projects are stages on the way where we grow. The videos are sub-projects of a larger whole; each one is a rung on the ladder.

My most valuable tip to end with: be uncompromising. Choose being alone over random encounters – and you will experience deeper connections in the future. AI is not just a tool, and YouTube is not just a video platform or a source of money. Together, the two can be for you what the vine is for the wine: a way to grow, to travel the world, and to experience depth.

I am Nemesus. I have a vision I want to realize – and a website where you can copy all my voice-overs without registration and explore them with AI. Community gatherings take place once a year. And in all likelihood, you’ll meet people there you would otherwise never have encountered – people who delight in resonance. Do you want to be part of it next time? Then use the form. Or are you afraid you’re not ready yet? You still have time to prepare yourself for unexpected turns in life. And if the uncertainty feels overwhelming – keep an eye on my shorts. They might take your mind off things for a moment.

Until then: Enjoy your journey. Stay tuned. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or, more briefly: Just try to avoid becoming the architect of loneliness.

I showed you the ladder I built for myself – confident it can also work for others. Will you try it? Maybe there are other routes I don’t know. Either way, I want to reach the summit. And I’ll be glad to meet whoever I find up there.

“Be nice. Go out…” – common advice that doesn’t work.

Scientific distinction between loneliness (feeling) and isolation (circumstances) → critique.

Promise: analysis of common tips + a path that actually works.

2. The eight tips and their dismantling

Go out and meet people → Barabási, movement radii.

Volunteering / group activities → mixed motives, insincerity.

Social media / dating apps → repetition of real-world patterns, frustration, Clark/Hatfield experiment.

Mindfulness → esotericism vs. analytic thinking.

Old friends / family → decline over time, estrangement, abuse risks.

Pets → Ashby’s Law, dogs don’t understand you, routines restrict you.

Be open and friendly → endless rejection reasons, revised line about “causing less harm than others.”

Professional help → ironic twist: if you take these tips seriously, you probably need it.

3. Cultural and structural blind spots

Entire cultures ignored (Asia, gender segregation, censorship).

Limits of even my videos (languages, censorship, platform dependence).

4. Systemic mechanisms

Audience preferences (male = analytical, female = practical) → dilemma.

Ashby’s Law + Parkinson’s Law of Triviality → mechanism of false solutions.

Complex vs. complicated problems → need for overarching patterns.

YouTuber dependence on clicks → simplification, parallel to propaganda.

5. Personal example / storytelling

Bangkok apartment experience → architecture of isolation.

Subtext: safety vs. loneliness, architects’ responsibility.

Conclusion: what people want often differs from what they need.

6. Neurocognitive perspective

Brain: energy saving & adaptation.

Limbic system vs. cortex → value patterns vs. language.

Culture as energy-saving shortcut → pattern shifts only through confrontation/contradiction.

7. The big question

What went wrong? Internet and flights should connect us, but don’t.

Structures established before your birth cause loneliness.

Dilemma: relief vs. helplessness → false tips vs. responsibility.

8. Turning point – the solution

Self-introduction: Nemesus, “jester with blue feathers.”

Solution: stop feeling lonely → start being alone.

Passive vs. active.

First rung on the ladder → from helplessness to competence.

9. Derrida’s perspective – what’s missing?

Loneliness even among close friends → reasons: expression difficulties, misunderstandings, group dynamics.

Technology, science, negligence as additional isolating factors.

Return to the audience: focus back on you.

10. Competencies for every path

Skills can be learned → key competencies (resilience, courage, decision-making, language, psychology).

Resonance creation, being found & understood.

YouTube advantage: say it once, people listen whenever they want.

11. Feynman / artist-scientist / travel metaphor

Feynman quote → first understand yourself.

Artist vs. traveler → dependence on environment.

Scientists likewise dependent on teams/environments.

Outer journeys vs. inner journeys → childhood, joy of being.

12. AI and YouTube as mentors

AI as sparring partner → feedback without people.

Human circle grows through AI reflection.

13. Channel positioning

Essays = rarer, complex, drawn from personal observations.

Shorts = frequent, experimental, genre play.

Channel = school of thought, not just platform.

14. Final section

Key tip: be uncompromising → deep vs. random connections.

YouTube + AI as vine for wine.

Invitation to website + community meetings.

Open ending: “ladder” metaphor, invitation to the summit.

(Intro)

The following list is a summary of the eight most popular tips against loneliness found on YouTube and X. If you start feeling unusually isolated in the next few seconds, don’t worry – it’s the reassuring sign that your brain is still active.

1. Go outside and meet people.
2. Join a volunteer program or a group.
3. Use social media or dating apps.
4. Practice mindfulness.
5. Call old friends or family.
6. Get yourself a pet.
7. Just be open and friendly.
8. Seek professional help.

Hi, I’m Nemesus – and to be honest, I find it downright hilarious how these tips completely ignore large parts of the world’s cultural landscape.

In Japan, South Korea, and China, striking up a conversation with strangers is considered impolite. In North Korea, you wouldn’t even run into strangers in the first place. In Afghanistan, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Egypt, and Malaysia, strict gender separation applies. Your options for communication would be cut in half right from the start.

As I pedal along, trying to give my thoughts free rein, I realize that even the way I structure my LongTime videos can come across as isolating – whether I want it to or not.

With my LongTimes, I consciously speak to creators and those who want to become one.

But right now, most of them are male – not just in certain countries, but globally. On the other hand, studies show that girls and young women are particularly prone to oneliness – and many of them are less drawn to complex, analytical formats. Put differently: My video about loneliness rarely reaches those who might need it the most. If I designed it differently, it might reach them – but it would be far less useful. Refreshing, isn’t it?

But let’s jump to a friendlier place: Thailand. What you’re seeing are the streets of Bangkok. The people of this megacity are known for being open-minded and curious. The street life reflects this vibrancy. It smells of motor oil and freshly washed laundry, Thai spices and burnt wood. – This city never sleeps.

Walk with me a little further, and I’ll tell you about one of the less lively aspects of Bangkok. The high-rise building I stayed in had 35 floors and four elevators. The key card worked for both the elevators and the apartment door. However, not all elevators and floors were accessible to all residents. There was one elevator for delivery workers, two for regular residents, and one car elevator for the privileged. The hallways were under video surveillance. The shared areas of the building were located on the 17th, 18th, and 19th floors.

On the 17th floor, there was a spa with whirlpools, separated by gender, and a small gym. On the 18th floor was a pool that no one ever swam in. And on the 19th floor, the deserted clubhouse – with a screening room no one used and a small selection of books and brochures praising the building’s advantages, which no one ever read with interest. A photo book on Bauhaus architecture and an advertising text about how safe the building was.

The key cards that opened the doors had an additional function: access control. Since my apartment was on the 11th floor, access was limited to that level, the ground floor, and the communal floors – without much community.

If I had had a friend on the 25th floor, I wouldn’t have been able to visit him – and he couldn’t have come down to the 11th to visit me. We could have met on the ground floor or in some parts of the shared areas, and from there, used one of our cards to get to the apartments of our choice. And with a bit of luck, we might even have run into a member of the cleaning staff along the way.

But that’s dissatisfaction at a high level. Most Thai people do speak English, yet language barriers still exist—and that goes for tourists too. The chances of having a friend in the same building are always low—language barrier or not, no matter where you are.

So let me rather tell you about the stunning view and other impressions—especially at night.

Bangkok is hot and loud. Traffic noise is constant, but it’s overpowered by the humming of air conditioners. In the high-rises around me, I counted about 500 AC units—two for every apartment. Air-conditioned loneliness in overcooled apartments. The warm exhaust air was pumped outside, heating up the surrounding city even further—already hot as it was.

All the buildings in my field of vision looked very similar to the one I was in. Each of them was secured by a small guardhouse. Private roads led to underground garages, usually located between the first and fourth floors. Some public streets were only accessible via private roads that were reserved for residents. All the buildings had pools on the middle floors and rooftop terraces with lush vegetation. – Empty.

Across from me was a playground for the children of the complex. But I never saw a child playing there.

But there was one single building in my surroundings with just one floor, on whose roof a golf course with two holes quietly lingered – unused. Every two days, gardeners came by to tend the grass. I felt more connected to one resident of the city. – Do you hear that? Unfortunately, I never got to see this little friend. He must have been calling from the deserted rooftop gardens. Four cries, followed by a longer one, pierced the night, cutting through traffic noise and air conditioners, only to bounce back from the building façades. – Then: silence again.

A kindred spirit? A prankster like me? Thanks to me, his cries for life can now be heard around the world. It won’t help him, though. – I’m sorry. I may not sing as nicely, but I do have the bigger brain. So I tried to stage a small act of rebellion in the building. Did you notice I haven’t mentioned a single bulletin board where you could leave messages? – That’s because there wasn’t one. Apparently, they were never planned. And there should have been four – one for each elevator. My diabolical plan was to get a nice little notebook and pen, smuggle them past the cameras and building staff, and discreetly place them on the clubhouse table among the books and brochures lying there.

“Meeting at the clubhouse, every Friday at 6 p.m.? – Send me an email if it worked.”

Unfortunately, my plan was foiled. My habit of writing at night became my downfall.

A cold from the air conditioning took me out; I never got around to finding the writing supplies. As if the building’s immune system had identified me as a foreign body – and successfully eliminated me. Maybe next time I’ll manage to trick it.

Enough about Bangkok—let’s head back to Berlin and move on to possible.

The tips from earlier don’t work—because they don’t address the issue on a systemic level.

But we should seriously ask ourselves: To what extent are we the architects of our own loneliness— we, who keep moving into isolating apartments, houses, and single-family homes all over the world?

So let’s dig a little deeper. If the earlier tips didn’t help – why were they liked so often? And why do so many videos on the subject feel exactly the same?

I’m afraid the root of it all lies right between our ears. Our brain has two basic functions: conserving energy and adapting. In environments where there’s no famine, that’s a pretty terrible combination. Energy conservation leads us to prefer simple solutions that require as little thinking as possible – whether they actually help or just seem to help is beside the point. And even when we notice it, very few of us ask whether the problem is of a complicated or a complex nature.

Complicated systems can be simplified by breaking them down.

But if you try that with a complex system, you destroy the complexity. – It won’t work.

And as for adaptation: When was the last time you were on another continent? Have you ever even been to one?

Culture helps us think less – it’s the ultimate simplification, as long as it’s the culture we ourselves came from. The downside: by adapting to that culture, we become blind to its systemic quirks. They just don’t stand out to us. But we can only solve problems if we first become aware that there is one.

So before you go out and, as suggested in the list of shame, get yourself a dog to fight your isolation, or listen to the latest updates about Aunt Erna’s new dentures over the phone, let me ask you a personal question:

What was the actual reason you clicked on this video?

Let me answer that for you: feelings of loneliness are probably familiar to anyone who still has their synapses in order. The more interesting question is: how do you plan to deal with them in the future?

I’ve found a path for myself. It’s radical and ugly – but it might work not just for me, but for you as well: Instead of trying to escape the negative feeling, throw yourself into the loneliness – let the silence work inside you and let the emptiness echo through you!

Why?

Your brain is designed to interact with about 150 people – village scale, not megacities.

But also not tiny hamlets. So what would you even talk to them about, if you had the chance? Chances are, you long for aliveness – just like I do, or the bird in Bangkok.

But how can you draw attention to yourself if you’ve never found your own voice? And how can you expect to understand others if you don’t even understand yourself?

Do you remember the golf course, the rooftop terrace, and the pool on the 18th floor I mentioned earlier?

Honestly, I feel the same way about YouTube and AI. – They’re being used. But somehow never quite right, are they? Global connectivity was supposed to bring us closer together. And yet, loneliness is now considered a worldwide epidemic.

For over 50 years, we’ve had global air travel. But how many of us can afford to travel the world – to expose ourselves to ongoing culture shock, to discover contradictions within our own worldview?

We’re all like the bird in Bangkok – only we lack the money and time to fly,

and not quite enough talent to sing.

I’m Nemesus – a quirky bird with blue feathers who flies far too rarely. I use my conversations with AI to find my voice – not people. My goal isn’t to seek. I want to be found – by those who use their creativity to walk their own paths,

but still want to learn together. And that’s exactly why I’m here – on YouTube.

Though I also wonder whether videos could be doing a lot more for us.

In the best case, a conventional but exceptionally good video would entertain you,

surprise you with new insights, make you think and feel – and motivate you.

Could there be more? You decide:

In early August 2025, I’ll be hosting my first community meetup in Berlin –

and I’m intentionally inviting you here and now to join. If you’re a creator near Berlin and spontaneous enough, send me an email. And if you’re not a creator yet – change that.

Maybe not with a video right away, but with something you can bring to share at the meetup. It would be a shame if you came and your voice went unheard.

Below this video, you’ll find a link to the contact form on my website. In the Content+ section, you’ll find the voice-overs of all my previous productions in both German and English. If you like, check them out and share them with the AI you trust – to start a conversation.

Alternatively: Wait for new videos. Don’t worry whether you fit into the “target audience” – the model doesn’t do justice to anyone anyway. I see it more like this: People want to be entertained, and they want to be able to entertain. After all, who wants to be seen as boring?

My LongTimes are for those who want to be able to entertain others. They’re complex.

But if you’re not in the mood for that right now: My Shorts are just here to entertain – micro-stories the length of an X post, in the spirit of O. Henry. Always complete, always unexpected, always a different genre – yet open to the occasional sequel, if I feel like it.

And if the distance between your home and Berlin still feels too far, or if the videos so far didn’t quite give you a reason to start planning a trip – don’t hold it against me.

There will be more videos and more gatherings: sometime, somewhere – and maybe in the metropolis near you.

Isolation starts in the mind. In yours – and in theirs.

Too young, too old, too different, too similar, too sexual, too intellectual, too physical, too virtual, too pretty, too ugly, too fat, too thin, too trendy, too retro?

The path out of loneliness begins with finding your own voice – and ends with hearing the voices of others. The opposite of addiction isn’t abstinence – it’s connection.

What I’m proposing is exceptionally demanding – I know. Even – or especially – YouTubers often feel lonely. And that makes the necessary work even harder.

The first encounters won’t be perfect. But even a brief glimpse can strengthen your resilience – and help you develop your social skills both in front of and behind the camera. Your imagination will show you what else might become possible.

And with growing experience, you’ll notice: This path brings numerous positive side effects: greater reach, increased mobility, less word salad, more courage, and a reduction in addictive behavior – to name just a few.

It’s been an honor and a pleasure to create this video for us. More will follow – online or live in Berlin. Until then:

Find your voice. Use it. Stay tuned.